the camel you rode in on

The usual idea of forgiveness is linear. Something hurtful happens to you, perpetrated by an outside agent whose victim you believe yourself to be. The victimizing happens in time—first the one thing, then the other. A Course in Miracles, among other teachings, tells us that in truth nothing has actually happened that can harm us. Who you are remains unharmed in the same way that when the dream-you is in a frightening dream, the "real" you is still safe at home, in bed.

Byron Katie would say that the situation itself cannot cause us to suffer. Only the stories we tell ourselves about the situation cause suffering.

We might then ask ourselves, why am I creating a frightening or painful life-dream? Why am I thinking in ways that cause me to suffer? Where did this come from? We may look into the past to find an answer and blame a parent or an abusive uncle or a disastrous situation. And then we may look into the future and think, well, once I have all this figured out and all that other stuff fixed, I'll be happy. We get busy with all kinds of agendas and yet in the present moment we still feel that there is a problem of some kind.

If you look closely at the suspected problem you'll see that it always consists of resistance to the present moment. Unfortunately, the present moment is our only vehicle. We're stranded in the desert and the present moment is our camel... that's it. No other way out.

You may wish you had a way out that wasn't so stinky and recalcitrant, but this camel is the only vehicle and the sooner you stop resisting it, the quicker the oasis will appear. However, you have to love the camel so much that you don't care if you ever reach the oasis. As a matter of fact you should forget that there is such a thing as an oasis. Let's stay in the desert forever!

This is forgiveness. Forgiveness is saying, okay, despite the manifest appearances, I'll let go of my grievances against this homely present moment. I will sink into it and let go of comparing it to any other moment and sit up tall on my camel, with some dignity and self-respect and let the moment show me itself. This is where it all drops away, where we can soak in the benevolence of reality, and feel the true relief of letting go of struggling.

It can only happen right here and right now. This here and now, not some other here and now.

Your only responsibility is to let go of your grievances against the present moment... no matter how you do it. And even that is not a responsibility... just a method, in case you are tired of suffering.

Edited to add:

I just received an email from someone who showed me that I could have expressed the idea of "loving the camel" a bit better. When I talk about the present moment, I mean just this bare moment. Just you, sitting somewhere perhaps, reading this. Maybe a cup of something to drink at your side. Just you sitting or standing, with the mind quiet. No stories about how things should or should not be. Maybe you hear a bird or a train or the sounds of a city. Just this. And then again, just this.

I'm not saying that someone should stay in a painful situation or martyr themselves in any way. I'm talking about noticing how painful it is to be running a storyline in your head. Dropping the storyline, or at least inquiring into whether or not it is true. Seeing that if you are pointing to something external, you are pointing in the wrong direction. The suffering is in the story.

I am not saying that it is necessary to be pain-free all the time, or to have some pollyanna attitude towards life, or to give up on your dreams. I am saying that if you want your dreams to come true, it's important to drop the storyline about how they aren't happening. It is a kind of faith or trust that the desires of your heart have been heard.

Comments

[John Quelch]

This is one of the most helpful posts I have ever read on the issue of 'nowness' .. the camel, a beautifully expressed metaphor. I have been kicking my camel for so long she is getting very tired of me. Time to be kind to the camel and sit upright in the saddle!

Thankyou so much

John

[marian]

Hi John. Thanks so much for that. I often wonder if my wacky metaphors make sense to anyone but me!

[Leslie]

This is truly a beautifully exquisite metaphor. I'll read it over and over until it sinks in.
XOXO
-Leslie