I was going to entitle this post, "getting to yes" but then I remembered! Not possible.
You can't move towards what you are. What you are is always there and has never changed. The only thing that is doable is to notice what you are not, and realize that you are identifying with thoughts and ideas that cause you suffering, and creating a self based upon them. Or let's put it this way—you can notice the "no."
Noticing the "no" or the presence of resistance within your mind and body, is not the same as judging that resistance or condemning that resistance or wishing that resistance would go the hell away. It's just noticing. Resistance is that ever-present human desire for this moment to be something other than what it is.
Fortunately, we have the magic of awareness. To be aware of something means to stand apart from it. In that action of becoming aware, your sense of "me" stops being created by the motion of the mind and starts being created by the stillness of the observer. It's a subtle shift, but if you pay attention you'll notice that within the motion of the mind is suffering, and within the stillness of the observer is peace.
Within both is a sense of self. One is a peaceful, content self, and one is an agitated, reactive self. Neither one is a permanent self. It's just that one believes itself to be a victim of external circumstances and the other does not. So one of these temporary selves is suffering more than the other one.
Most of us vacillate between these selves, losing our mindfulness and becoming solidified as a victim of the world, then recalling our mindfulness and remembering our option for peace. It's like we stand on the banks of a turbulent river and every once in a while we lose our footing and fall in, thrash about, and finally scramble back to shore to dry out and calm down. With practice, we begin to notice the tendency to lose our footing before it causes us to land in the river.
You can't move towards what you are. What you are is always there and has never changed. The only thing that is doable is to notice what you are not, and realize that you are identifying with thoughts and ideas that cause you suffering, and creating a self based upon them. Or let's put it this way—you can notice the "no."
Noticing the "no" or the presence of resistance within your mind and body, is not the same as judging that resistance or condemning that resistance or wishing that resistance would go the hell away. It's just noticing. Resistance is that ever-present human desire for this moment to be something other than what it is.
Fortunately, we have the magic of awareness. To be aware of something means to stand apart from it. In that action of becoming aware, your sense of "me" stops being created by the motion of the mind and starts being created by the stillness of the observer. It's a subtle shift, but if you pay attention you'll notice that within the motion of the mind is suffering, and within the stillness of the observer is peace.
Within both is a sense of self. One is a peaceful, content self, and one is an agitated, reactive self. Neither one is a permanent self. It's just that one believes itself to be a victim of external circumstances and the other does not. So one of these temporary selves is suffering more than the other one.
Most of us vacillate between these selves, losing our mindfulness and becoming solidified as a victim of the world, then recalling our mindfulness and remembering our option for peace. It's like we stand on the banks of a turbulent river and every once in a while we lose our footing and fall in, thrash about, and finally scramble back to shore to dry out and calm down. With practice, we begin to notice the tendency to lose our footing before it causes us to land in the river.
Another very helpful reflection. Thankyou so much!
Posted by: John Quelch | May 03, 2010 at 01:16 AM
Hi John... youre welcome.
Posted by: marian | May 03, 2010 at 09:47 AM
Thank you for this post. I love the way you explain resistance: "Resistance is that ever-present human desire for this moment to be something other than what it is." It's so simple. You really have a gift, my friend. xoxo
Posted by: Aileen | May 31, 2010 at 09:24 AM
thanks, Aileen, so do you.
Posted by: marian | June 01, 2010 at 02:53 PM