self-respect

When you bring your attention fully into the present moment, your present environment, motley though it may be with all its seeming chaos and smells and uncertainty, the crumbs in your keyboard and fact that you need a haircut, the kids and all their problems and the whole money thing... when you bring yourself fully here and just allow the litany of thought to quiet down, slow way down... it becomes possible to see that what you have been chasing, be it awakening or enlightenment or wealth or love, is illusory, and that the chase itself is not only the suffering you have been experiencing, but the very thing that has been keeping these qualities from your life.

Stopping—turning one's mental back on the chase, the seeking, the hoping for something other than this—requires a certain kind of self-respect. We are mortally afraid to say "this is good enough, this is it" because we fear that by saying so, by resting right here and appreciating this, we will cut off our chances of ever getting anything else—and ultimately, at our core, of ever being reunited with what Is, with God, with Truth, or however you wish to put it.

The secret is that the entire problem lies in our resistance to this "is." We want some other "is." Truth is never found anywhere other than right here and right now. And it is this we refuse to accept. Yet without this fundamental acceptance, this fundamental relinquishing of judgment—right now, and only right now—there is no hope of noticing that wherever you put your foot is sacred ground.

It is the resistance that blocks the awareness. Yet even saying that, it seems like I'm talking about something special that you need to do, in order to get something special that is other than this, right here and right now. That's an unavoidable consequence of language.

The chase, the resistance, the argument, the judgment, the concept, the idea—it's all occurring at one level—all occurring in thought. It's all thought. There is no solution at the level of thought.

When you face this conundrum, you notice that all seeking is a function of the thought-self, and its continual, unreliable, self-contradictory concepts. That's where the self-respect comes it. That's when your grasping hands begin to open and their emptiness is felt to be the essential gift that it is.

Comments

[Aileen]

Thank you for this piece, Marian. Just what I needed to hear this morning. I'm feeling the stress of all I need to do today just melt away.....

[Peter]

Appreciation is, Marian, your words, like fragrant flowers, keep me coming back to visit this lovely garden...may I share a quote from another friend?

"...therefore, from the point of view of ignorance, the search is the first step that Consciousness takes in the return to itself. From the point of view of Understanding, the search is the first step that Consciousness takes away form itself. In neither case does Consciousness ever go anywhere.....

From the point of view of ignorance, the 'person' is what we are and 'meditation' is something that we do from time to time. Form the point of view of understanding, 'meditation' is what we are and the 'person' is something that we do from time to time.

Meditation is not something that we do. Whether we know it or not, it is what we are."
Rupert Spira "The Transparency of Things"

[Rama Prasad]

Dear Marian - Your words simply touch me and tears flow because the truth always touches. Youa re so right about the mortal fear of accepting 'this' as though we will miss something valuable if we dont indulge in the seeking.
Love
Rama