This week we had a visit from an old friend, a died-in-the-wool entrepreneur, someone very successful. The visit came at the end of a good day—one filled with activity and creativity and friendliness, openness. So being in this expansive mood we embraced our visitor, whom we hadn't seen in a long time.
In the dusk and into the darkness of the winter evening we sat in our studio and talked. We talked about the recession. And he brought into our minds a dire scenario. He brought with him evidence and food for panic, and the idea that we are all doomed—that this situation is going to be worse than the depression—that we must remake ourselves, we must DO something—we must rally our forces and fight.
At first this sensation of going along with his interpretation of events was exhilarating, but by two in the morning, as I lay awake, it became nightmarish. The next day I felt, uncharacteristically, depressed. There was, apparently, something wrong with NOW. Suddenly I had an argument with what was happening, and something to defend against. And it felt bloody awful.It took me around 24 hours to come out from under that spell.
There is nothing to fight against. As has been said a million times by a million people—now is good enough. There is nothing wrong with now. But only when you greet what is happening with this open-hearted acceptance, does it reveal to you the secret that it holds within itself. And that secret is that you are not in danger and never have been.
It is not something that can be explained or simulated or adopted as a philosophy. You have to say yes to what is. It's really the only way to get the vending machine of ordinary life to begin to move and shudder and release into your hungry heart this wonderful news. It will do it every time. Now is good enough. This is good enough. This is damn good.
Loyalty to what is... "Love holds no grievances. Let me not betray myself."
See the grievance. Feel how it makes you suffer. Consider just observing it. It in itself is not a problem, but as you stand back from it, and allow even it to exist, light begins to surround it, and you remember.
Bloody beautiful Marian...Absolutely beautiful. In the midst of what might appear as the rug being pulled out from all sides there was a feeling of deep happiness felt this morning. Happiness for cripes sake. I could only marvel at that. And the only way, amidst all this seeming drama, would have to be Now. There was a deep and affectionate acceptance of what Is. My mind may pop in there to say that it still feels as though with an 'I' -- as there is duality -- but none-the-less there was peace. Everything was more than alright.
Thank you for another sweet post.
Posted by: Leslie | February 21, 2009 at 05:36 PM
Get your friend a subscription to Ode magazine. :)
Posted by: Lynne | February 21, 2009 at 09:56 PM
Loyalty holds no grievances, not even while grieving. Loyalty just keeps on moving: right, left, right, left, right, not right, fair, not fair, good, bad, pleasant, awful, gain, loss, .... Perhaps betrayal is defining how things are, freezing them in time, believing my own definitions or the definitions of others.
To rest in non-conceptual knowing feels like the bottom line. Can I sign my name, pledge my love right here?
Posted by: Ron Marson | February 24, 2009 at 01:11 PM
It feels as though loyalty means to remain as the unmoving (One).
Posted by: Leslie | February 24, 2009 at 01:22 PM
Thank you for this post, Marian. Great reminder that it's never a circumstance that makes us unhappy, but our thoughts about it!
Posted by: Aileen | February 24, 2009 at 04:15 PM
Serendipitous landing here today Marian-I've been playing out both roles (you and your friend), and, needless to say, have reaped a fair bit of confusion, oscillating back and forth, a child's toy run amok....As with all suffering, it ends so simply, coming back to the home I never left, loving what is, letting joy be the guide...
Thanks
Posted by: Peter | February 28, 2009 at 09:29 PM